Tag: family mediation

Can I miss Family Members Mediation & go straight to Court?
The breakdown of a relationship can be difficult for everyone involved, especially where children, finances or property need to be resolved. After separation, emotions can be high, and it is common for communication to become strained.

Although some people want to go straight to court, many family court applications require the person applying to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, known as a MIAM, before making the application.

A MIAM is designed to help you understand whether family mediation could be a suitable way to resolve the issues without going through a full court process.

At Lakes Mediation, our experienced family mediators provide MIAMs and help separating couples and parents understand their options clearly and calmly.

What Is a MIAM?

A MIAM is an individual meeting with a family mediator. It gives you the opportunity to explain your situation, discuss the issues that need to be resolved, and understand how mediation works.

The mediator will explain:
- what family mediation involves
- whether mediation may be suitable
- what issues can be discussed
- how the process works
- what alternatives may be available
- whether any exemptions may apply
- what happens if the other person refuses mediation
A MIAM is confidential, subject to limited safeguarding and legal exceptions. It is not a joint mediation session, and you do not have to sit with your former partner during the MIAM.

Why Is a MIAM Required?

Family mediation can help people resolve disputes about children, finances and property without the stress, cost and delay of court proceedings.

The purpose of a MIAM is to make sure that, where appropriate, people have considered mediation before making a court application.

Mediation is voluntary, so you cannot be forced to continue with mediation after the MIAM. However, attending a MIAM can help you understand whether mediation is suitable and what your next steps may be.

If mediation is not suitable, or if the other person refuses to take part, the mediator can provide the relevant MIAM certificate so that you can proceed with a court application where required.

When Might You Not Need to Attend a MIAM?

There are some situations where a MIAM may not be required before applying to court. These are known as MIAM exemptions.

An exemption may apply in cases involving:
- domestic abuse or coercive control
- urgent safeguarding concerns
- risk of harm to a child or adult
- risk that a child may be unlawfully removed from the UK
- recent social services involvement
- an urgent need for a court order
- bankruptcy in certain financial disputes
- not knowing where the other person lives
- the other person being unwilling or unable to attend
- recent unsuccessful mediation
- lack of available mediators within a reasonable distance or timeframe
- certain linked family court proceedings already being active
Whether an exemption applies will depend on the facts of the case and the evidence available. If you are unsure, a mediator can explain the MIAM process and help you understand the next steps.

What Happens If the Other Person Refuses Mediation?

If the other person refuses to attend mediation, you can still attend your own MIAM.

The mediator may then contact the other person to invite them to take part. If they decline or do not respond, the mediator can usually issue the relevant form confirming that mediation cannot proceed.

This allows you to show the court that you attempted to consider mediation before making an application.

What Is the Role of the Family Mediator?

The mediator is neutral. They do not take sides, make decisions or tell either person what to do.

Their role is to help both people communicate more constructively, identify the issues, explore options and work towards practical agreements.

In mediation, you can discuss issues such as:
- child arrangements
- parenting plans
- school holidays
- handovers
- communication between parents
- finances
- property
- pensions
- debts
- future arrangements after separation
If proposals are reached, the mediator can record them in writing. If the parties want the agreement to become legally binding, the mediator can explain the next steps, such as taking legal advice or applying for a court order by consent.

Is Family Mediation the Same as Relationship Counselling?

No. Family mediation is not relationship counselling.

Mediation is not about deciding whether the relationship should continue. It is about helping separated or separating people resolve practical issues and make arrangements for the future.

The focus is on reaching workable outcomes, reducing conflict and helping both people move forward.

Is Mediation Better Than Going to Court?

Mediation is often quicker, less expensive and less stressful than court proceedings. It also gives both people more control over the outcome.

Court may still be necessary in some cases, especially where there are safety concerns, urgency, refusal to engage, non-disclosure or serious disagreement that cannot be resolved. However, for many families, mediation can provide a more constructive route.

It gives both people the opportunity to speak, be heard and consider solutions in a safe and structured environment.

How Lakes Mediation Can Help

At Lakes Mediation, we provide MIAMs and family mediation for separating couples and parents.

We can help with:
- MIAM appointments
- child arrangements
- parenting plans
- divorce and separation issues
- financial arrangements
- property discussions
- pension discussions
- shuttle mediation
- online mediation
Our mediators will explain the process clearly, assess whether mediation is suitable and help you understand your options.

Contact Lakes Mediation Today

If you need to attend a MIAM or want to find out whether family mediation could help, Lakes Mediation can support you.

Contact Lakes Mediation today to arrange a MIAM and take the next step towards resolving your family dispute
December 31, 2025
Breakdown of Trust

Trusts can become an important issue during divorce, especially where one spouse is a beneficiary or where trust assets have been used to support the family during the marriage.

Trusts are often complex, and it is not always clear whether trust assets should be treated as part of the financial settlement. In some cases, a trust may be considered a financial resource. In others, the court may look closely at how the trust has operated, who has benefited from it, and whether it is connected to the marriage.

Mediation can help separating couples discuss these issues in a structured and constructive way, while also identifying where independent legal or financial advice may be needed.

Trusts and Financial Settlements

If a trust is considered a nuptial settlement, meaning it is connected to the marriage, it may be taken into account during divorce financial proceedings. The court has powers to vary certain nuptial settlements where it considers this necessary to achieve a fair outcome.

Even where a trust is not treated as a nuptial settlement, it may still be considered as a financial resource. For example, if one spouse is a beneficiary and has historically received regular payments from the trust, the court may consider whether that support is likely to continue.

The court may also look at the purpose of the trust, how it was created, the history of payments, and any relevant letters of wishes. These factors can help establish whether the trust should be treated as available, partly available, or separate from the matrimonial assets.

Trusts Created for Specific Purposes

Some trusts are created for a specific reason, such as holding compensation received after a personal injury or medical negligence claim. These trusts may still be considered during divorce, but the purpose of the funds will be important.

For example, where money was intended to meet future care needs, this may be treated differently from funds received as general compensation. The court will usually consider the needs of both parties, but it will also look carefully at why the trust exists and what the funds are intended to provide.

In many divorce cases, financial needs are a key consideration. If the court has the power to do so, it may make orders that take account of trust assets where this is necessary to meet the needs of the parties or any children.

Offshore Trusts

Offshore trusts can also be relevant in divorce proceedings in England and Wales. The court may seek information from trustees, consider whether the trust is a financial resource, and, in some cases, make orders involving the trust.

However, offshore trusts can raise additional complications. The location of the trust, the location of the assets, and the laws of the jurisdiction where the trust is based will all be important. Some offshore jurisdictions have asset protection laws that may affect whether an English court order can be enforced.

Where offshore trusts are involved, specialist legal advice is usually essential. Trustees and beneficiaries should be careful before taking any steps, particularly where there may be obligations under both English law and the law of the trust jurisdiction.

Requests for Information from Trustees

During divorce proceedings, trustees may be asked to provide information about the trust, its assets, past distributions and potential future support. Trustees must balance any request for information with their duties to all beneficiaries.

In some cases, trustees may be joined to financial remedy proceedings so that the court can obtain information or make directions. This can be particularly relevant where the trust is central to the financial issues in dispute.

Trustees should take legal advice before responding to requests for information or becoming involved in proceedings. This is especially important for offshore trustees, who may need advice from lawyers in the trust jurisdiction as well as family law specialists in England and Wales.

Constructive Communication

Constructive communication is important where trusts are involved in divorce. In some cases, cooperation from trustees can help clarify the position and avoid unnecessary disputes, enforcement issues or costly litigation.

Clear information can help both parties understand whether the trust is likely to be treated as a financial resource and whether it may affect the overall settlement.

Mediation can also help separating couples discuss trust-related issues more calmly. Although a mediator cannot provide legal advice or make decisions for either party, they can help identify the questions that need to be answered and support discussions around possible settlement options.

How Lakes Mediation Can Help

At Lakes Mediation, we help separating and divorcing couples discuss complex financial matters in a structured and impartial setting. This can include conversations about trusts, pensions, property, savings, income, debts and wider financial arrangements.

Where trust assets are involved, mediation can help both parties identify the key issues, consider what information is needed, and work towards practical next steps. We can also help couples understand when specialist legal, financial or tax advice may be required before any agreement is finalised.

Our aim is to reduce conflict, improve communication and help both parties move towards a fair and workable financial outcome.

Contact Lakes Mediation Today

If you are going through a divorce and trusts form part of the financial picture, Lakes Mediation can help you understand how mediation may support constructive discussions.

Contact Lakes Mediation today to find out how we can help you work through financial issues during separation or divorce.

August 9, 2025
Giving Children a Voice in the Mediation Process: Why It Matters
Separation and divorce can be difficult for the whole family, especially children. When parents separate, children may feel confused, unsettled or unsure about what will happen next.

Family mediation can help parents make practical arrangements for the future, but it is also important to consider how those arrangements affect the children. In some cases, children can be given an appropriate opportunity to share their views, feelings and wishes as part of the mediation process.

At Lakes Mediation, we understand the importance of keeping children’s needs at the centre of discussions, while ensuring they are not placed under pressure or asked to make adult decisions.

Why Children’s Voices Matter

When parents separate, children can sometimes feel that decisions are being made around them rather than with their needs in mind. Giving children an appropriate voice can help them feel listened to and reassured.

This does not mean asking children to choose between parents. It means recognising that their feelings, routines, relationships and emotional wellbeing are important factors when parents are making arrangements.

Children may have views about:
- where they feel comfortable
- how handovers affect them
- time with each parent
- school and activity routines
- communication with parents
- what helps them feel settled
- what they find difficult after separation
Hearing a child’s perspective can help parents focus on what their child is experiencing, rather than only on the dispute between adults.

Helping Parents Focus on the Child’s Needs

Separation can create strong emotions, and parents may understandably become focused on practical disagreements or past conflict. Child-focused mediation helps bring the discussion back to the child’s welfare, stability and emotional needs.

When children’s views are properly considered, parents may find it easier to make arrangements that are realistic, balanced and centred on the child.

This can also reduce conflict. When both parents are reminded of how the situation feels from the child’s perspective, discussions can become more constructive and less focused on blame.

Child-Inclusive Mediation

In some cases, child-inclusive mediation may be suitable. This involves a specially trained mediator meeting with the child separately, with the agreement of both parents and the child.

The purpose is not to ask the child to make decisions. Instead, the mediator gives the child a safe and neutral space to talk about how they are feeling and what they would like their parents to understand.

The mediator will then feed back agreed points to the parents, depending on what the child has consented to share. This can help parents make better-informed decisions about child arrangements.

Child-inclusive mediation is handled carefully and sensitively. It is not suitable in every case, and the mediator will consider the child’s age, understanding, circumstances and emotional wellbeing before deciding whether it is appropriate.

Using Child-Friendly Communication

Where children are involved in the mediation process, communication must be handled carefully. Children should not be exposed to adult conflict or legal arguments, and they should never be made to feel responsible for the outcome.

Parents should use clear, age-appropriate language when explaining what is happening. Children need reassurance that both parents are trying to make arrangements that support them and that they are not being asked to take sides.

Mediation can help parents think about how to communicate with their children in a way that is calm, consistent and reassuring.

How Lakes Mediation Can Help

At Lakes Mediation, we help separating parents keep children’s needs at the centre of the mediation process. Our mediators provide a neutral and structured environment where parents can discuss child arrangements, communication, routines and future parenting plans.

Where appropriate, we can also discuss whether child-inclusive mediation may be suitable. Our aim is to help parents make practical arrangements that support their children’s welfare and reduce unnecessary conflict.

Contact Lakes Mediation Today

If you are separating and want to make child-focused arrangements, Lakes Mediation can help.

Contact Lakes Mediation today to find out how family mediation can support you in making calm, constructive and child-centred decisions.
July 13, 2025
Six Family Mediation Tips for Divorce and Separation
When you are going through a divorce or separation, family mediation can help you resolve important issues around children, property and finances in a calmer and more constructive way.

Many people have heard of mediation but are unsure what it involves, what to expect from the process, or how to prepare for their first meeting.

At Lakes Mediation, our experienced family mediators help separating couples and parents have structured discussions, reduce conflict and work towards practical agreements.

Here are six useful tips to help you get the most from family mediation.

Tip One: Prepare for Your MIAM

A Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, often called a MIAM, is usually the first step in the mediation process.

You do not need to bring every bank statement, pension document or item of financial disclosure to the first meeting. However, it is useful to think carefully about your situation before attending.

Before your MIAM, consider:
- what issues you want to resolve
- what arrangements are currently in place
- what you are worried about
- what outcome you hope to achieve
- whether there are any safety, communication or urgency concerns
- whether children, finances or property need to be discussed
Making a few notes beforehand can help you stay focused and make sure you cover the key points during the meeting.

Tip Two: Start the Process

If you and your former partner have been unable to reach an agreement, mediation can provide a structured way forward.

Many people find it difficult to resolve issues directly after separation, particularly where emotions are high or communication has broken down. Attending a MIAM gives you the opportunity to understand whether mediation is suitable and what options may be available.

It can also help you understand the court process if mediation does not go ahead. In many family cases, attending a MIAM is required before making certain applications to court, unless an exemption applies.

Even where the other person has said they do not want to mediate, receiving an invitation from a family mediator may encourage them to reconsider. If they still refuse, you can at least show that you have attempted to resolve matters in a constructive way.

Tip Three: Understand How Many Sessions May Be Needed

Family mediation usually takes place over a number of sessions. Many sessions last around 90 minutes, although this can vary depending on the issues being discussed.

Some parenting or financial issues may be resolved in a small number of sessions. More complex matters, such as property, pensions, business assets or detailed child arrangements, may take longer.

Mediation works best when both people use the sessions to look forward rather than repeatedly going over past conflict. The aim is to focus on what needs to happen next and how practical arrangements can be made.

It can also be helpful to have time between sessions. This allows both people to reflect, gather financial information, take legal advice, speak to mortgage advisers, or consider proposals before the next meeting.

Tip Four: Remember That the Mediator Is Neutral

You do not need to persuade the mediator to take your side. A family mediator is trained to remain impartial and will not judge either person.

The mediator is not a judge and does not make decisions for you. Instead, they help both people identify the issues, explore options and work towards an agreement.

Common issues discussed in mediation include:
- how children will spend time with each parent
- how communication will work after separation
- how two households can be managed financially
- what should happen to the family home
- how savings, debts, pensions or other assets should be dealt with
- how future arrangements can be made workable for everyone involved
The mediator’s role is to support constructive discussion and help both people consider realistic ways forward.

Tip Five: Avoid Trying to Mediate by Email

Long email chains and repeated text messages often make conflict worse. They can lead to misunderstanding, defensiveness and further disagreement.

Mediation gives you a dedicated space to discuss the issues that have not been resolved. Instead of trying to negotiate everything through messages, use the time between sessions to prepare properly.

This may include:
- gathering financial disclosure
- thinking about child arrangements
- reviewing your budget
- seeking legal advice
- considering what proposals may be workable
- identifying where you may be able to compromise
Keeping communication clear and focused can make mediation more effective and reduce unnecessary tension.

Tip Six: Focus on the Bigger Picture

Mediation is not about winning every point. The best outcomes are usually the ones where both people feel they have been heard and where the final arrangements are realistic and sustainable.

Trying to defeat the other person on every issue can make agreement harder. Being willing to listen, give ground where appropriate and consider the other person’s perspective can help create better long-term arrangements.

This is particularly important where children are involved. Parents may need to continue communicating for many years, so preserving a workable relationship can be just as important as resolving the immediate dispute.

Goodwill can make a significant difference in mediation. A practical compromise on one issue may help unlock agreement on another and avoid the stress, cost and uncertainty of court proceedings.

How Lakes Mediation Can Help

At Lakes Mediation, we help separating couples and parents resolve family issues in a calm, structured and impartial setting.

Our mediators can help with:
- MIAMs
- child arrangements
- parenting plans
- divorce and separation issues
- property and financial arrangements
- communication difficulties
- shuttle mediation
- online and face-to-face mediation
We aim to help both people move forward with greater clarity, less conflict and practical arrangements that work for their family.

Contact Lakes Mediation Today

If you are going through a divorce or separation and need help resolving child, property or financial issues, Lakes Mediation can help.

Contact Lakes Mediation today or call 01539 644 002 to find out how family mediation can support you.
May 31, 2025
When family mediation fails to produce results
The best way to resolve a divorce, separation or family dispute is often to reach an agreement without going to court. This may involve arrangements for children, finances, property or communication after separation.

Family mediation can be one of the most effective ways to do this. A trained family mediator helps both people have structured discussions, explore options and work towards an agreement that is practical, fair and focused on the future.

However, mediation is not suitable in every case. Although many family disputes can be resolved through mediation, there are situations where mediation may not be appropriate or where another route may be needed.

At Lakes Mediation, we assess each case carefully to make sure mediation is safe, suitable and likely to be helpful.

When Mediation May Not Be Appropriate

Family mediation is voluntary. Both people must be willing to take part and engage with the process. If one person refuses to attend, or feels pressured into attending, mediation may not be suitable.

Mediation may also be unsuitable where there are concerns about safety, pressure, intimidation or an imbalance of power that cannot be managed safely within the process.

Common situations where mediation may not be appropriate include:
- domestic abuse or allegations of abuse
- coercive or controlling behaviour
- serious intimidation or pressure
- urgent safeguarding concerns
- immediate risk to a child or adult
- one person refusing to take part
- bankruptcy or complex financial issues requiring urgent legal advice
- ongoing social services involvement due to child welfare concerns
- a severe power imbalance between the parties
- recent mediation that has already broken down
This does not mean mediation is automatically ruled out in every difficult case. In some circumstances, options such as shuttle mediation or online mediation may help manage communication safely. However, the mediator must be satisfied that the process is appropriate and that both people can take part freely.

Domestic Abuse and Safety Concerns

Where there has been domestic abuse, coercive control or serious intimidation, mediation may not be suitable. Mediation should never place anyone at risk or make them feel pressured into an agreement.

During the MIAM, the mediator will ask questions to assess safety and suitability. If mediation is not appropriate, the mediator can explain the next steps and, where relevant, provide the necessary form to allow a court application to proceed.

Safety is always more important than reaching an agreement through mediation.

Urgent Family Issues

Some family situations are too urgent for mediation. If there is an immediate risk to a child, a concern about removal from the country, threats of harm, or another urgent safeguarding issue, it may be necessary to seek legal advice and apply to court quickly.

Mediation can be effective for many family disputes, but it is not designed to replace urgent legal protection where immediate action is needed.

Power Imbalance Between the Parties

Mediation relies on both people being able to speak freely, consider proposals and make decisions without pressure.

In some cases, one person may dominate the conversation or the other may feel unable to disagree. The mediator will consider whether this can be managed through the mediation process.

Shuttle mediation, separate arrival times, online mediation or carefully structured sessions may help in some cases. However, if the imbalance means one person cannot properly participate, mediation may not be appropriate.

When Mediation Does Not Work

Even where mediation is suitable, it does not always result in a full agreement. A mediator cannot force either person to accept a proposal or make a decision.

Mediation may come to an end if:
- one person withdraws from the process
- one person refuses to negotiate
- the parties remain too far apart
- essential financial disclosure is not provided
- the mediator decides there is no reasonable prospect of progress
- safety or suitability concerns arise during the process
If mediation ends without agreement, the matter may need to be resolved through solicitors, arbitration or court proceedings.

However, mediation can still be useful even if it does not resolve every issue. In some cases, parents or separating couples agree on some matters but not others. This can narrow the dispute and make any later legal process more focused.

Confidentiality in Mediation

Family mediation is confidential. This allows both people to discuss options openly without worrying that every suggestion will later be used against them in court.

There are some exceptions, including safeguarding concerns, risk of harm, money laundering or where financial disclosure is provided on an open basis.

Your mediator will explain confidentiality at the start of the process so both people understand what can and cannot be shared outside mediation.

How Lakes Mediation Can Help

At Lakes Mediation, we help separating couples and parents understand whether mediation is suitable for their circumstances.

We can assist with:
- MIAMs
- child arrangements
- parenting plans
- financial arrangements
- property discussions
- shuttle mediation
- online mediation
- communication after separation
If mediation is suitable, we will help you work through the issues in a calm, structured and impartial way. If mediation is not suitable, we can explain the next steps so you understand your options.

Contact Lakes Mediation Today

If you are dealing with a divorce, separation or family dispute and want to know whether mediation is right for you, Lakes Mediation can help.

Contact Lakes Mediation today or call 01539 644 002 to arrange a MIAM and discuss the next steps.
April 21, 2025