Child inclusive mediation across Cumbria and the North West
Lakes Mediation helps parents consider whether children should have an appropriate voice in mediation, without asking them to choose sides or make adult decisions.
What child inclusive mediation can help with
- Helping children feel listened to
- Understanding children’s views safely
- Supporting child-focused parenting decisions
- Reducing pressure on children
- Clarifying what can be shared with parents
Giving children a voice without asking them to decide
When parents separate, children may have worries, preferences or questions that adults do not always see. Child inclusive mediation gives parents a way to consider the child’s perspective as part of the mediation process.
The child is not asked to choose between parents, make decisions or carry responsibility for the outcome. The purpose is to help parents better understand the child’s experience when making arrangements that affect them.
What children may want parents to understand
Living arrangements
How children experience moving between homes, routines, bedrooms, belongings and daily life after separation.
Time with each parent
What helps contact feel manageable, consistent and less stressful for the child.
School and activities
How parenting arrangements affect school, friends, hobbies, clubs and the child’s usual routines.
Family relationships
Relationships with siblings, grandparents, wider family, pets and other important people in the child’s life.
Communication
How children receive information, how parents communicate around them, and what helps them feel less caught in the middle.
Future changes
How children feel about changes such as moving home, new routines, holidays, school transitions or changed family structures.
How child inclusive mediation works
The mediator will first discuss child inclusive mediation with the parents and consider whether it is suitable. If it is appropriate, the child may be offered the opportunity to speak with a suitably trained mediator or child consultant.
The child’s participation should be voluntary. What is shared back with parents is handled carefully, and the child should understand what can and cannot remain confidential.
What child inclusive mediation is not
It is not asking the child to decide where they live, choose between parents or give evidence against either parent.
It is a way of helping parents understand the child’s perspective so that adult decisions can be better informed and more child-focused.
The child inclusive mediation process
| Initial enquiry | Parents explain the family situation and the children arrangements being discussed. |
| MIAM / assessment | The mediator considers suitability, safety and whether child inclusive mediation may be appropriate. |
| Parents consider consent | The mediator explains the process and what would be required before any child is invited to take part. |
| Child invited if suitable | Where appropriate, the child may be offered the opportunity to speak with a suitably trained mediator or child consultant. |
| Feedback handled carefully | The child can be helped to understand what, if anything, they want shared back with their parents. |
| Parents return to mediation | Parents can then use the child’s perspective to support more informed discussions about future arrangements. |
Benefits of child inclusive mediation
Children feel heard
Children may feel reassured when they know their views have been listened to in an appropriate and sensitive way.
Parents understand more
Parents may gain a clearer understanding of what is worrying the child and what may help them adjust.
Decisions stay with adults
The child’s voice can be considered without placing the burden of adult decision-making on them.
Child inclusive mediation sits within wider children arrangements
Child inclusive mediation is usually considered alongside wider discussions about parenting time, living arrangements, holidays, school, communication and future routines. It is one way of helping parents keep the child’s experience at the centre of those conversations.
Child inclusive mediation FAQs
| What is child inclusive mediation? | Child inclusive mediation is a way for children and young people to have their views heard during mediation where it is suitable and appropriate. |
| Does the child have to take part? | No. The child should not be forced to participate. The opportunity should be handled sensitively and explained carefully. |
| Will the child decide what happens? | No. The child is not asked to choose sides or make decisions. Adults remain responsible for the decisions. |
| What age is child inclusive mediation for? | The Family Mediation Council says children aged 10 and over should be offered the opportunity to have their voice heard directly during mediation if they wish. |
| What happens after the child is heard? | Where appropriate, and subject to what has been agreed about confidentiality, the child’s messages can be fed back to help parents continue child-focused discussions. |
Start with a confidential child inclusive mediation assessment.
Speak to Lakes Mediation about child inclusive mediation, parenting arrangements, MIAMs, online mediation or wider family mediation support.