6 FAMILY MEDIATION TIPS YOU NEED TO KNOW – FROM FAMILY MEDIATORS
OUR EXPERT FAMILY MEDIATORS SHARE THEIR TOP MEDIATION SUGGESTIONS WITH YOU.
When you are going through a divorce or separation, Family Mediation can assist you in resolving issues with parenting, property, and finances.
However, many people are unsure what to anticipate from separation or divorce mediation, and there is still some uncertainty about what Family Mediation in the UK includes.
Here are our six mediation ideas for divorce or separation. These were created based on over ten years of running the top-rated family mediation practice.
We hope you will find these beneficial:
TIP ONE – BE READY FOR YOUR MIAM MEETING .
You do not have to bring all of the financial disclosure, bank statements, and assets to the first mediation session, but take time ahead of time to think about what you want to tell the mediator about your circumstances and what you hope to achieve from the process. The mediator will normally need to know the issues you want handled, your expectations for the outcome, and any worries you have about the process.
It’s a good idea to take notes ahead of time to ensure you cover everything during your MIAM.
TIP TWO– JUST DO IT! WHETHER ONLINE OR FACE-TO-FACE MEDIATION .
If you want to address an issue in which you and your colleagues have been unable to reach an agreement, simply schedule an MIAM and begin the process. Many people find it difficult to strike an agreement with an ex-partner. However, whereas 70% of persons in the United States reach an agreement via mediation, a startling 90% of Lakes Mediation customers are able to finish an agreement. So, why not give this a try?
By attending an MIAM , you are giving yourself the option of going to court if the other side refuses to mediate, and you will be given a plethora of important information that is specific to your circumstance.
Even if the other party has stated that they do not intend to participate in mediation, they may reconsider after receiving an invitation letter from a family mediator.
And you can at least demonstrate to the court that you attempted to handle problems amicably.
TIP THREE – BE CONSCIOUS OF THE NUMBER OF MEDIATION SESSIONS.
Many mediation sessions take 90 minutes, as well as the average number of sessions necessary to fix a conflict in parenting and financial matters is two to three. Utilize the mediation to move things forward and then use that time to figure out what will happen in the future rather than looking back at what has happened previously. When you begin meditating, draw an imagined line in the sand and use it to plan how you will all go with your life.
It can be beneficial to take a longer pause between sessions to meditate on issues, study mortgage possibilities, or simply to allow things to settle down. You could wish to talk to your extended family, a therapist, or a charity about your concerns.
It is impossible to expect a situation that has deteriorated over time to be resolved in a single mediation session. Lakes Mediation follows a procedure that we know works in 90% of situations, and we evaluate problems every 3-4 sessions to ensure you are making the progress we want you to make and to see if there is anything further we can do. We don’t want you to keep mediating if things aren’t moving forward, so believe in the process and you’ll be more likely to see results.
TIP FOUR – THE MEDIATOR WILL NOT PASS JUDGMENT ON YOU.
Don’t worry about gaining the mediator’s favour; they are trained to remain neutral at all times. They will not make legal decisions in the same way that a judge would. Instead, think of family mediation as a problem-solving exercise. These issues could be:
• How are we going to raise our children if we live apart?
• How can we run two houses when we previously only operated one?
• How can we fairly divide our assets so that we may both move on?
These are all concerns that must be addressed while engaging in separation or divorce mediation, so concentrate on finding solutions to these difficulties instead.
The divorce mediator will assist you in identifying your options for moving forward and then narrowing down which choice is best for your case. They will not tell you what to do, but they will share their legal knowledge and draw on their own experience as a family mediator. They will not pass judgement on you; their sole goal is to assist you in reaching an agreement so that you can both go on.
TIP FIVE – DO NOT USE EMAIL TO MEDIATE.
Use the family mediation session to talk about the issues you can’t seem to agree on. Don’t try to reach an agreement through lengthy email chains or, worse, text messages. Use your time away from the mediation process to compile your financial disclosure, plan your future finances, consider your parenting arrangements, and seek legal guidance if necessary.
Of course, some couples can reach an agreement independent of mediation, which is recommended. However, sending extensive emails with your demands or wishes is unlikely to result in an agreement. Discuss the concerns amongst yourselves or with a family mediator, but keep email traces to a minimum.
Instead of focusing on what decisions you want the other person to make, try focusing on what decisions you can make to help ease the situation.
TIP SIX – PAY ATTENTION TO THE BIG PICTURE.
When you’re trying to achieve an agreement in mediation , don’t treat every point of contention as if it’s a game you have to win in order to obtain a favorable result. The finest outcomes, and those that have been shown to persist the longest, are those in which you both feel you have gained something. Conceding on a few things, being courteous, attempting to understand the other person’s point of view, and giving ground can all contribute to a far better overall conclusion than attempting to beat the other person down on every issue.
A good example would be when a couple couldn’t agree on spousal maintenance. When our mediator brought up the question of parenting, one party caved and agreed that the children could spend the entire week with their ex-partner for Christmas that year. Giving this ground – just one week and one Christmas out of their entire lives – allowed them to agree on the amount of spousal maintenance that should be paid. More significantly, it kept them out of court and their relationship civil.
Goodwill may go a long way in mediation, and keep in mind that it is without prejudice, so you can offer ground and then withdraw it if you believe it is not working toward the overall agreement.
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