When parents separate or divorce, one of the most important issues to resolve is where the children will live and how much time they will spend with each parent.
In England and Wales, the court no longer uses the old terms “residence order” and “contact order”. These have been replaced by Child Arrangements Orders, which set out who a child lives with, when they spend time with each parent, and what other forms of contact may take place.
At Lakes Mediation, we help separated parents discuss child arrangements in a calm, structured and child-focused way, with the aim of avoiding unnecessary court proceedings wherever possible.
What Is a Child Arrangements Order?
A Child Arrangements Order is a court order that sets out arrangements for a child after separation.
It can deal with:
- who the child will live with
- when the child will spend time with each parent
- handover arrangements
- school holidays
- birthdays and special occasions
- indirect contact, such as phone or video calls
- specific practical arrangements where parents cannot agree
A Child Arrangements Order can say that a child lives with one parent, or that the child lives with both parents at different times. This does not always mean the child’s time is divided equally. The court will look at what arrangement is in the child’s best interests.
Does a Child Arrangements Order Affect Parental Responsibility?
A Child Arrangements Order does not automatically remove the other parent’s parental responsibility.
Parental responsibility means having the legal rights and responsibilities involved in making important decisions about a child’s life. This can include decisions about education, medical treatment, religion and major welfare issues.
Day-to-day decisions are usually made by the parent caring for the child at that time. However, major decisions should usually be discussed with anyone else who has parental responsibility.
Can Parents Agree Arrangements Without Court?
Yes. Many parents are able to agree child arrangements without going to court.
A Parenting Plan can be used to record practical arrangements, including where the children will live, how holidays will work, how handovers will be managed, and how parents will communicate.
Family mediation can help parents reach these agreements in a more constructive way. The mediator does not take sides or make decisions, but helps both parents focus on the children’s needs and work towards practical arrangements.
In most cases, before applying to court for a Child Arrangements Order, a person must attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, known as a MIAM, unless a valid exemption applies.
Can Grandparents Apply for a Child Arrangements Order?
In some circumstances, grandparents or other family members may apply for a Child Arrangements Order.
However, grandparents do not usually have an automatic legal right to apply. In many cases, they must first ask the court for permission before making the application. The court will then consider the child’s welfare and whether the application should proceed.
Mediation can also help wider family members discuss contact with children after separation, where this is suitable and all necessary people are willing to take part.
Will the Court Listen to the Child’s Wishes?
The child’s wishes and feelings may be considered, depending on their age, understanding and maturity. Older children may be able to express clearer views about where they want to live or how they want to spend time with each parent.
However, children are not expected to make the final decision. The court’s main concern is the child’s welfare, and it will decide what arrangement is in the child’s best interests.
It is important that children are not placed under pressure, asked to choose between parents, or drawn into adult conflict.
What About Parental Alienation Concerns?
After separation, children can sometimes become caught in the conflict between parents. In some cases, one parent may be concerned that the other parent is turning the child against them or damaging the child’s relationship with them.
These situations can be distressing and should be handled carefully. The focus should remain on the child’s welfare, emotional wellbeing and right to have safe, healthy relationships with both parents where appropriate.
Mediation may help where both parents are willing to engage and there are no safeguarding concerns that make mediation unsuitable. Where there are serious concerns about emotional harm, manipulation, abuse or risk to the child, legal advice may be needed.
Why Mediation Can Help With Child Arrangements
Mediation gives parents a structured space to discuss arrangements without immediately going to court.
It can help parents consider:
- the child’s routine
- school and childcare arrangements
- travel and handovers
- holidays and special occasions
- communication between households
- the child’s emotional needs
- how arrangements may need to change as the child grows
The aim is to create arrangements that are clear, practical and focused on the child, rather than on the conflict between parents.
How Lakes Mediation Can Help
At Lakes Mediation, we help separated parents work through child arrangements in a calm and impartial setting.
We can help with:
- MIAMs
- Parenting Plans
- child arrangements
- communication between parents
- school holiday arrangements
- handover issues
- shuttle mediation
- online mediation
- discussions about court applications where mediation cannot proceed
Our mediators help parents focus on what is best for their children and explore practical arrangements that can work in everyday life.
Contact Lakes Mediation Today
If you need help agreeing where your child will live, when they will spend time with each parent, or how parenting arrangements should work after separation, Lakes Mediation can help.
Contact Lakes Mediation today or call 01539 644 002 to arrange a MIAM or find out more about family mediation.