The best way to resolve a divorce, separation or family dispute is often to reach an agreement without going to court. This may involve arrangements for children, finances, property or communication after separation.
Family mediation can be one of the most effective ways to do this. A trained family mediator helps both people have structured discussions, explore options and work towards an agreement that is practical, fair and focused on the future.
However, mediation is not suitable in every case. Although many family disputes can be resolved through mediation, there are situations where mediation may not be appropriate or where another route may be needed.
At Lakes Mediation, we assess each case carefully to make sure mediation is safe, suitable and likely to be helpful.
When Mediation May Not Be Appropriate
Family mediation is voluntary. Both people must be willing to take part and engage with the process. If one person refuses to attend, or feels pressured into attending, mediation may not be suitable.
Mediation may also be unsuitable where there are concerns about safety, pressure, intimidation or an imbalance of power that cannot be managed safely within the process.
Common situations where mediation may not be appropriate include:
- domestic abuse or allegations of abuse
- coercive or controlling behaviour
- serious intimidation or pressure
- urgent safeguarding concerns
- immediate risk to a child or adult
- one person refusing to take part
- bankruptcy or complex financial issues requiring urgent legal advice
- ongoing social services involvement due to child welfare concerns
- a severe power imbalance between the parties
- recent mediation that has already broken down
This does not mean mediation is automatically ruled out in every difficult case. In some circumstances, options such as shuttle mediation or online mediation may help manage communication safely. However, the mediator must be satisfied that the process is appropriate and that both people can take part freely.
Domestic Abuse and Safety Concerns
Where there has been domestic abuse, coercive control or serious intimidation, mediation may not be suitable. Mediation should never place anyone at risk or make them feel pressured into an agreement.
During the MIAM, the mediator will ask questions to assess safety and suitability. If mediation is not appropriate, the mediator can explain the next steps and, where relevant, provide the necessary form to allow a court application to proceed.
Safety is always more important than reaching an agreement through mediation.
Urgent Family Issues
Some family situations are too urgent for mediation. If there is an immediate risk to a child, a concern about removal from the country, threats of harm, or another urgent safeguarding issue, it may be necessary to seek legal advice and apply to court quickly.
Mediation can be effective for many family disputes, but it is not designed to replace urgent legal protection where immediate action is needed.
Power Imbalance Between the Parties
Mediation relies on both people being able to speak freely, consider proposals and make decisions without pressure.
In some cases, one person may dominate the conversation or the other may feel unable to disagree. The mediator will consider whether this can be managed through the mediation process.
Shuttle mediation, separate arrival times, online mediation or carefully structured sessions may help in some cases. However, if the imbalance means one person cannot properly participate, mediation may not be appropriate.
When Mediation Does Not Work
Even where mediation is suitable, it does not always result in a full agreement. A mediator cannot force either person to accept a proposal or make a decision.
Mediation may come to an end if:
- one person withdraws from the process
- one person refuses to negotiate
- the parties remain too far apart
- essential financial disclosure is not provided
- the mediator decides there is no reasonable prospect of progress
- safety or suitability concerns arise during the process
If mediation ends without agreement, the matter may need to be resolved through solicitors, arbitration or court proceedings.
However, mediation can still be useful even if it does not resolve every issue. In some cases, parents or separating couples agree on some matters but not others. This can narrow the dispute and make any later legal process more focused.
Confidentiality in Mediation
Family mediation is confidential. This allows both people to discuss options openly without worrying that every suggestion will later be used against them in court.
There are some exceptions, including safeguarding concerns, risk of harm, money laundering or where financial disclosure is provided on an open basis.
Your mediator will explain confidentiality at the start of the process so both people understand what can and cannot be shared outside mediation.
How Lakes Mediation Can Help
At Lakes Mediation, we help separating couples and parents understand whether mediation is suitable for their circumstances.
We can assist with:
- MIAMs
- child arrangements
- parenting plans
- financial arrangements
- property discussions
- shuttle mediation
- online mediation
- communication after separation
If mediation is suitable, we will help you work through the issues in a calm, structured and impartial way. If mediation is not suitable, we can explain the next steps so you understand your options.
Contact Lakes Mediation Today
If you are dealing with a divorce, separation or family dispute and want to know whether mediation is right for you, Lakes Mediation can help.
Contact Lakes Mediation today or call 01539 644 002 to arrange a MIAM and discuss the next steps.