Tag: children mediation

Can I miss Family Members Mediation & go straight to Court?
The breakdown of a relationship can be difficult for everyone involved, especially where children, finances or property need to be resolved. After separation, emotions can be high, and it is common for communication to become strained.

Although some people want to go straight to court, many family court applications require the person applying to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, known as a MIAM, before making the application.

A MIAM is designed to help you understand whether family mediation could be a suitable way to resolve the issues without going through a full court process.

At Lakes Mediation, our experienced family mediators provide MIAMs and help separating couples and parents understand their options clearly and calmly.

What Is a MIAM?

A MIAM is an individual meeting with a family mediator. It gives you the opportunity to explain your situation, discuss the issues that need to be resolved, and understand how mediation works.

The mediator will explain:
- what family mediation involves
- whether mediation may be suitable
- what issues can be discussed
- how the process works
- what alternatives may be available
- whether any exemptions may apply
- what happens if the other person refuses mediation
A MIAM is confidential, subject to limited safeguarding and legal exceptions. It is not a joint mediation session, and you do not have to sit with your former partner during the MIAM.

Why Is a MIAM Required?

Family mediation can help people resolve disputes about children, finances and property without the stress, cost and delay of court proceedings.

The purpose of a MIAM is to make sure that, where appropriate, people have considered mediation before making a court application.

Mediation is voluntary, so you cannot be forced to continue with mediation after the MIAM. However, attending a MIAM can help you understand whether mediation is suitable and what your next steps may be.

If mediation is not suitable, or if the other person refuses to take part, the mediator can provide the relevant MIAM certificate so that you can proceed with a court application where required.

When Might You Not Need to Attend a MIAM?

There are some situations where a MIAM may not be required before applying to court. These are known as MIAM exemptions.

An exemption may apply in cases involving:
- domestic abuse or coercive control
- urgent safeguarding concerns
- risk of harm to a child or adult
- risk that a child may be unlawfully removed from the UK
- recent social services involvement
- an urgent need for a court order
- bankruptcy in certain financial disputes
- not knowing where the other person lives
- the other person being unwilling or unable to attend
- recent unsuccessful mediation
- lack of available mediators within a reasonable distance or timeframe
- certain linked family court proceedings already being active
Whether an exemption applies will depend on the facts of the case and the evidence available. If you are unsure, a mediator can explain the MIAM process and help you understand the next steps.

What Happens If the Other Person Refuses Mediation?

If the other person refuses to attend mediation, you can still attend your own MIAM.

The mediator may then contact the other person to invite them to take part. If they decline or do not respond, the mediator can usually issue the relevant form confirming that mediation cannot proceed.

This allows you to show the court that you attempted to consider mediation before making an application.

What Is the Role of the Family Mediator?

The mediator is neutral. They do not take sides, make decisions or tell either person what to do.

Their role is to help both people communicate more constructively, identify the issues, explore options and work towards practical agreements.

In mediation, you can discuss issues such as:
- child arrangements
- parenting plans
- school holidays
- handovers
- communication between parents
- finances
- property
- pensions
- debts
- future arrangements after separation
If proposals are reached, the mediator can record them in writing. If the parties want the agreement to become legally binding, the mediator can explain the next steps, such as taking legal advice or applying for a court order by consent.

Is Family Mediation the Same as Relationship Counselling?

No. Family mediation is not relationship counselling.

Mediation is not about deciding whether the relationship should continue. It is about helping separated or separating people resolve practical issues and make arrangements for the future.

The focus is on reaching workable outcomes, reducing conflict and helping both people move forward.

Is Mediation Better Than Going to Court?

Mediation is often quicker, less expensive and less stressful than court proceedings. It also gives both people more control over the outcome.

Court may still be necessary in some cases, especially where there are safety concerns, urgency, refusal to engage, non-disclosure or serious disagreement that cannot be resolved. However, for many families, mediation can provide a more constructive route.

It gives both people the opportunity to speak, be heard and consider solutions in a safe and structured environment.

How Lakes Mediation Can Help

At Lakes Mediation, we provide MIAMs and family mediation for separating couples and parents.

We can help with:
- MIAM appointments
- child arrangements
- parenting plans
- divorce and separation issues
- financial arrangements
- property discussions
- pension discussions
- shuttle mediation
- online mediation
Our mediators will explain the process clearly, assess whether mediation is suitable and help you understand your options.

Contact Lakes Mediation Today

If you need to attend a MIAM or want to find out whether family mediation could help, Lakes Mediation can support you.

Contact Lakes Mediation today to arrange a MIAM and take the next step towards resolving your family dispute
December 31, 2025
Giving Children a Voice in the Mediation Process: Why It Matters
Separation and divorce can be difficult for the whole family, especially children. When parents separate, children may feel confused, unsettled or unsure about what will happen next.

Family mediation can help parents make practical arrangements for the future, but it is also important to consider how those arrangements affect the children. In some cases, children can be given an appropriate opportunity to share their views, feelings and wishes as part of the mediation process.

At Lakes Mediation, we understand the importance of keeping children’s needs at the centre of discussions, while ensuring they are not placed under pressure or asked to make adult decisions.

Why Children’s Voices Matter

When parents separate, children can sometimes feel that decisions are being made around them rather than with their needs in mind. Giving children an appropriate voice can help them feel listened to and reassured.

This does not mean asking children to choose between parents. It means recognising that their feelings, routines, relationships and emotional wellbeing are important factors when parents are making arrangements.

Children may have views about:
- where they feel comfortable
- how handovers affect them
- time with each parent
- school and activity routines
- communication with parents
- what helps them feel settled
- what they find difficult after separation
Hearing a child’s perspective can help parents focus on what their child is experiencing, rather than only on the dispute between adults.

Helping Parents Focus on the Child’s Needs

Separation can create strong emotions, and parents may understandably become focused on practical disagreements or past conflict. Child-focused mediation helps bring the discussion back to the child’s welfare, stability and emotional needs.

When children’s views are properly considered, parents may find it easier to make arrangements that are realistic, balanced and centred on the child.

This can also reduce conflict. When both parents are reminded of how the situation feels from the child’s perspective, discussions can become more constructive and less focused on blame.

Child-Inclusive Mediation

In some cases, child-inclusive mediation may be suitable. This involves a specially trained mediator meeting with the child separately, with the agreement of both parents and the child.

The purpose is not to ask the child to make decisions. Instead, the mediator gives the child a safe and neutral space to talk about how they are feeling and what they would like their parents to understand.

The mediator will then feed back agreed points to the parents, depending on what the child has consented to share. This can help parents make better-informed decisions about child arrangements.

Child-inclusive mediation is handled carefully and sensitively. It is not suitable in every case, and the mediator will consider the child’s age, understanding, circumstances and emotional wellbeing before deciding whether it is appropriate.

Using Child-Friendly Communication

Where children are involved in the mediation process, communication must be handled carefully. Children should not be exposed to adult conflict or legal arguments, and they should never be made to feel responsible for the outcome.

Parents should use clear, age-appropriate language when explaining what is happening. Children need reassurance that both parents are trying to make arrangements that support them and that they are not being asked to take sides.

Mediation can help parents think about how to communicate with their children in a way that is calm, consistent and reassuring.

How Lakes Mediation Can Help

At Lakes Mediation, we help separating parents keep children’s needs at the centre of the mediation process. Our mediators provide a neutral and structured environment where parents can discuss child arrangements, communication, routines and future parenting plans.

Where appropriate, we can also discuss whether child-inclusive mediation may be suitable. Our aim is to help parents make practical arrangements that support their children’s welfare and reduce unnecessary conflict.

Contact Lakes Mediation Today

If you are separating and want to make child-focused arrangements, Lakes Mediation can help.

Contact Lakes Mediation today to find out how family mediation can support you in making calm, constructive and child-centred decisions.
July 13, 2025
Six Family Mediation Tips for Divorce and Separation
When you are going through a divorce or separation, family mediation can help you resolve important issues around children, property and finances in a calmer and more constructive way.

Many people have heard of mediation but are unsure what it involves, what to expect from the process, or how to prepare for their first meeting.

At Lakes Mediation, our experienced family mediators help separating couples and parents have structured discussions, reduce conflict and work towards practical agreements.

Here are six useful tips to help you get the most from family mediation.

Tip One: Prepare for Your MIAM

A Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, often called a MIAM, is usually the first step in the mediation process.

You do not need to bring every bank statement, pension document or item of financial disclosure to the first meeting. However, it is useful to think carefully about your situation before attending.

Before your MIAM, consider:
- what issues you want to resolve
- what arrangements are currently in place
- what you are worried about
- what outcome you hope to achieve
- whether there are any safety, communication or urgency concerns
- whether children, finances or property need to be discussed
Making a few notes beforehand can help you stay focused and make sure you cover the key points during the meeting.

Tip Two: Start the Process

If you and your former partner have been unable to reach an agreement, mediation can provide a structured way forward.

Many people find it difficult to resolve issues directly after separation, particularly where emotions are high or communication has broken down. Attending a MIAM gives you the opportunity to understand whether mediation is suitable and what options may be available.

It can also help you understand the court process if mediation does not go ahead. In many family cases, attending a MIAM is required before making certain applications to court, unless an exemption applies.

Even where the other person has said they do not want to mediate, receiving an invitation from a family mediator may encourage them to reconsider. If they still refuse, you can at least show that you have attempted to resolve matters in a constructive way.

Tip Three: Understand How Many Sessions May Be Needed

Family mediation usually takes place over a number of sessions. Many sessions last around 90 minutes, although this can vary depending on the issues being discussed.

Some parenting or financial issues may be resolved in a small number of sessions. More complex matters, such as property, pensions, business assets or detailed child arrangements, may take longer.

Mediation works best when both people use the sessions to look forward rather than repeatedly going over past conflict. The aim is to focus on what needs to happen next and how practical arrangements can be made.

It can also be helpful to have time between sessions. This allows both people to reflect, gather financial information, take legal advice, speak to mortgage advisers, or consider proposals before the next meeting.

Tip Four: Remember That the Mediator Is Neutral

You do not need to persuade the mediator to take your side. A family mediator is trained to remain impartial and will not judge either person.

The mediator is not a judge and does not make decisions for you. Instead, they help both people identify the issues, explore options and work towards an agreement.

Common issues discussed in mediation include:
- how children will spend time with each parent
- how communication will work after separation
- how two households can be managed financially
- what should happen to the family home
- how savings, debts, pensions or other assets should be dealt with
- how future arrangements can be made workable for everyone involved
The mediator’s role is to support constructive discussion and help both people consider realistic ways forward.

Tip Five: Avoid Trying to Mediate by Email

Long email chains and repeated text messages often make conflict worse. They can lead to misunderstanding, defensiveness and further disagreement.

Mediation gives you a dedicated space to discuss the issues that have not been resolved. Instead of trying to negotiate everything through messages, use the time between sessions to prepare properly.

This may include:
- gathering financial disclosure
- thinking about child arrangements
- reviewing your budget
- seeking legal advice
- considering what proposals may be workable
- identifying where you may be able to compromise
Keeping communication clear and focused can make mediation more effective and reduce unnecessary tension.

Tip Six: Focus on the Bigger Picture

Mediation is not about winning every point. The best outcomes are usually the ones where both people feel they have been heard and where the final arrangements are realistic and sustainable.

Trying to defeat the other person on every issue can make agreement harder. Being willing to listen, give ground where appropriate and consider the other person’s perspective can help create better long-term arrangements.

This is particularly important where children are involved. Parents may need to continue communicating for many years, so preserving a workable relationship can be just as important as resolving the immediate dispute.

Goodwill can make a significant difference in mediation. A practical compromise on one issue may help unlock agreement on another and avoid the stress, cost and uncertainty of court proceedings.

How Lakes Mediation Can Help

At Lakes Mediation, we help separating couples and parents resolve family issues in a calm, structured and impartial setting.

Our mediators can help with:
- MIAMs
- child arrangements
- parenting plans
- divorce and separation issues
- property and financial arrangements
- communication difficulties
- shuttle mediation
- online and face-to-face mediation
We aim to help both people move forward with greater clarity, less conflict and practical arrangements that work for their family.

Contact Lakes Mediation Today

If you are going through a divorce or separation and need help resolving child, property or financial issues, Lakes Mediation can help.

Contact Lakes Mediation today or call 01539 644 002 to find out how family mediation can support you.
May 31, 2025
When family mediation fails to produce results
The best way to resolve a divorce, separation or family dispute is often to reach an agreement without going to court. This may involve arrangements for children, finances, property or communication after separation.

Family mediation can be one of the most effective ways to do this. A trained family mediator helps both people have structured discussions, explore options and work towards an agreement that is practical, fair and focused on the future.

However, mediation is not suitable in every case. Although many family disputes can be resolved through mediation, there are situations where mediation may not be appropriate or where another route may be needed.

At Lakes Mediation, we assess each case carefully to make sure mediation is safe, suitable and likely to be helpful.

When Mediation May Not Be Appropriate

Family mediation is voluntary. Both people must be willing to take part and engage with the process. If one person refuses to attend, or feels pressured into attending, mediation may not be suitable.

Mediation may also be unsuitable where there are concerns about safety, pressure, intimidation or an imbalance of power that cannot be managed safely within the process.

Common situations where mediation may not be appropriate include:
- domestic abuse or allegations of abuse
- coercive or controlling behaviour
- serious intimidation or pressure
- urgent safeguarding concerns
- immediate risk to a child or adult
- one person refusing to take part
- bankruptcy or complex financial issues requiring urgent legal advice
- ongoing social services involvement due to child welfare concerns
- a severe power imbalance between the parties
- recent mediation that has already broken down
This does not mean mediation is automatically ruled out in every difficult case. In some circumstances, options such as shuttle mediation or online mediation may help manage communication safely. However, the mediator must be satisfied that the process is appropriate and that both people can take part freely.

Domestic Abuse and Safety Concerns

Where there has been domestic abuse, coercive control or serious intimidation, mediation may not be suitable. Mediation should never place anyone at risk or make them feel pressured into an agreement.

During the MIAM, the mediator will ask questions to assess safety and suitability. If mediation is not appropriate, the mediator can explain the next steps and, where relevant, provide the necessary form to allow a court application to proceed.

Safety is always more important than reaching an agreement through mediation.

Urgent Family Issues

Some family situations are too urgent for mediation. If there is an immediate risk to a child, a concern about removal from the country, threats of harm, or another urgent safeguarding issue, it may be necessary to seek legal advice and apply to court quickly.

Mediation can be effective for many family disputes, but it is not designed to replace urgent legal protection where immediate action is needed.

Power Imbalance Between the Parties

Mediation relies on both people being able to speak freely, consider proposals and make decisions without pressure.

In some cases, one person may dominate the conversation or the other may feel unable to disagree. The mediator will consider whether this can be managed through the mediation process.

Shuttle mediation, separate arrival times, online mediation or carefully structured sessions may help in some cases. However, if the imbalance means one person cannot properly participate, mediation may not be appropriate.

When Mediation Does Not Work

Even where mediation is suitable, it does not always result in a full agreement. A mediator cannot force either person to accept a proposal or make a decision.

Mediation may come to an end if:
- one person withdraws from the process
- one person refuses to negotiate
- the parties remain too far apart
- essential financial disclosure is not provided
- the mediator decides there is no reasonable prospect of progress
- safety or suitability concerns arise during the process
If mediation ends without agreement, the matter may need to be resolved through solicitors, arbitration or court proceedings.

However, mediation can still be useful even if it does not resolve every issue. In some cases, parents or separating couples agree on some matters but not others. This can narrow the dispute and make any later legal process more focused.

Confidentiality in Mediation

Family mediation is confidential. This allows both people to discuss options openly without worrying that every suggestion will later be used against them in court.

There are some exceptions, including safeguarding concerns, risk of harm, money laundering or where financial disclosure is provided on an open basis.

Your mediator will explain confidentiality at the start of the process so both people understand what can and cannot be shared outside mediation.

How Lakes Mediation Can Help

At Lakes Mediation, we help separating couples and parents understand whether mediation is suitable for their circumstances.

We can assist with:
- MIAMs
- child arrangements
- parenting plans
- financial arrangements
- property discussions
- shuttle mediation
- online mediation
- communication after separation
If mediation is suitable, we will help you work through the issues in a calm, structured and impartial way. If mediation is not suitable, we can explain the next steps so you understand your options.

Contact Lakes Mediation Today

If you are dealing with a divorce, separation or family dispute and want to know whether mediation is right for you, Lakes Mediation can help.

Contact Lakes Mediation today or call 01539 644 002 to arrange a MIAM and discuss the next steps.
April 21, 2025
What is Divorce Mediation?
Divorce mediation is a way of resolving issues arising from separation without immediately going through contested court proceedings. It allows separating couples to discuss children, finances, property and future arrangements with the help of an impartial family mediator.

The mediator is a neutral third party. They do not take sides, give either person legal advice or make decisions for you. Instead, they help both people identify the issues, communicate more constructively and explore possible solutions.

At Lakes Mediation, our experienced family mediators support separating couples through calm, structured discussions designed to help them reach practical and workable agreements.

What Is Divorce Mediation?

Divorce mediation gives both people the opportunity to discuss the arrangements that need to be made following separation. This may include what happens to the family home, how finances should be dealt with, how pensions are considered, or how children will spend time with each parent.

Mediation does not usually take place in court. It can take place in person, online, or through shuttle mediation where each person is in a separate room or virtual space.

For mediation to work, both people need to be willing to take part, provide relevant information and consider possible compromises. The mediator helps guide the conversation, but the decisions remain with the parties.

What Are the Benefits of Divorce Mediation?

Mediation is often less confrontational than court proceedings. Instead of each person arguing their case in a formal setting, mediation focuses on problem-solving and future arrangements.

It can also be more cost-effective and quicker than going through a contested court process. Because the discussions are structured, both people can focus on the issues that need to be resolved rather than becoming stuck in repeated arguments.

Mediation is also private. Family mediation discussions are generally confidential, subject to limited exceptions such as safeguarding concerns, risk of harm, money laundering or open financial disclosure.

For parents, mediation can be particularly helpful because it encourages communication and supports child-focused decision-making. Even after divorce, parents may need to work together for many years, so finding a calmer way to resolve disagreements can make a significant difference.

What Issues Can Be Discussed in Divorce Mediation?

Divorce mediation can help with a wide range of issues, including:
- child arrangements
- parenting plans
- school holidays and special occasions
- communication between parents
- the family home
- savings and debts
- pensions
- income and maintenance
- mortgage arrangements
- financial disclosure
- future housing needs
- division of assets and liabilities
The mediator can help both people understand what needs to be discussed and what information may be needed before proposals can be considered properly.

Child Arrangements in Mediation

Where children are involved, mediation can help parents focus on their children’s needs and routines.

Parents can discuss where the children will live, when they will spend time with each parent, how handovers will work, and how arrangements will change during school holidays or special occasions.

The aim is to create arrangements that are practical, clear and focused on the children’s welfare. Mediation can also help parents think about communication, boundaries and how to manage future disagreements without returning to conflict.

Financial Mediation

Financial mediation can help separating couples work through money and property issues in a structured way.

This may include discussion about the family home, pensions, savings, debts, income, business interests, mortgage capacity and future needs.

Before financial proposals can be properly considered, both people usually need to provide financial disclosure. This helps create a clear picture of the assets, liabilities and income involved.

The mediator cannot provide financial advice or tell either person what they should accept. However, they can help organise the discussion and identify where independent legal, financial, tax or pension advice may be needed.

What Is the Mediation Process?

The process usually begins with a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, known as a MIAM. This is an individual meeting where the mediator explains how mediation works and assesses whether it is suitable.

If mediation is suitable and both people agree to proceed, joint sessions can then be arranged. These sessions may take place together, separately through shuttle mediation, or online.

During the sessions, the mediator helps both people identify the issues, exchange information, consider options and work towards agreement.

If an agreement is reached, it can be recorded in writing. Child arrangements may be set out in a Parenting Plan. Financial proposals may be recorded in a Memorandum of Understanding and, where appropriate, taken to solicitors to be converted into a legally binding consent order.

How Long Does Divorce Mediation Take?

The length of mediation depends on the issues involved and how much progress is made between sessions.

Some couples resolve matters in one or two sessions. More complex cases, especially those involving property, pensions, businesses or detailed child arrangements, may take longer.

Mediation can move more quickly where both people provide information promptly, attend with a willingness to listen, and focus on practical solutions.

How Much Does Divorce Mediation Cost?

The cost of mediation depends on the number of sessions needed and the complexity of the issues being discussed.

Mediation is often more affordable than contested court proceedings because it can reduce the need for lengthy correspondence, repeated hearings and prolonged legal dispute.

At Lakes Mediation, we aim to provide a clear and transparent approach to costs so that clients understand the likely fees before starting the process.

Is Mediation Always Suitable?

Mediation is not suitable in every case. It may not be appropriate where there are serious safeguarding concerns, domestic abuse, coercive control, urgent court issues, non-disclosure of finances, or where one person refuses to engage.

The mediator will assess suitability during the MIAM and explain the available options if mediation cannot proceed.

How Lakes Mediation Can Help

At Lakes Mediation, we help separating couples and parents resolve divorce and family issues in a calm, structured and impartial setting.

We can help with:
- MIAMs
- divorce mediation
- child arrangements
- parenting plans
- financial mediation
- property discussions
- pension discussions
- shuttle mediation
- online mediation
Our aim is to help both people reach practical agreements, reduce conflict and move forward with greater clarity.

Contact Lakes Mediation Today

If you are going through divorce or separation and need help resolving child, financial or property arrangements, Lakes Mediation can help.

Contact Lakes Mediation today or call 01539 644 002 to find out how family mediation can support you.
February 1, 2025