The breakdown of a relationship can be difficult for everyone involved, especially where children, finances or property need to be resolved. After separation, emotions can be high, and it is common for communication to become strained.
Although some people want to go straight to court, many family court applications require the person applying to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, known as a MIAM, before making the application.
A MIAM is designed to help you understand whether family mediation could be a suitable way to resolve the issues without going through a full court process.
At Lakes Mediation, our experienced family mediators provide MIAMs and help separating couples and parents understand their options clearly and calmly.
What Is a MIAM?
A MIAM is an individual meeting with a family mediator. It gives you the opportunity to explain your situation, discuss the issues that need to be resolved, and understand how mediation works.
The mediator will explain:
- what family mediation involves
- whether mediation may be suitable
- what issues can be discussed
- how the process works
- what alternatives may be available
- whether any exemptions may apply
- what happens if the other person refuses mediation
A MIAM is confidential, subject to limited safeguarding and legal exceptions. It is not a joint mediation session, and you do not have to sit with your former partner during the MIAM.
Why Is a MIAM Required?
Family mediation can help people resolve disputes about children, finances and property without the stress, cost and delay of court proceedings.
The purpose of a MIAM is to make sure that, where appropriate, people have considered mediation before making a court application.
Mediation is voluntary, so you cannot be forced to continue with mediation after the MIAM. However, attending a MIAM can help you understand whether mediation is suitable and what your next steps may be.
If mediation is not suitable, or if the other person refuses to take part, the mediator can provide the relevant MIAM certificate so that you can proceed with a court application where required.
When Might You Not Need to Attend a MIAM?
There are some situations where a MIAM may not be required before applying to court. These are known as MIAM exemptions.
An exemption may apply in cases involving:
- domestic abuse or coercive control
- urgent safeguarding concerns
- risk of harm to a child or adult
- risk that a child may be unlawfully removed from the UK
- recent social services involvement
- an urgent need for a court order
- bankruptcy in certain financial disputes
- not knowing where the other person lives
- the other person being unwilling or unable to attend
- recent unsuccessful mediation
- lack of available mediators within a reasonable distance or timeframe
- certain linked family court proceedings already being active
Whether an exemption applies will depend on the facts of the case and the evidence available. If you are unsure, a mediator can explain the MIAM process and help you understand the next steps.
What Happens If the Other Person Refuses Mediation?
If the other person refuses to attend mediation, you can still attend your own MIAM.
The mediator may then contact the other person to invite them to take part. If they decline or do not respond, the mediator can usually issue the relevant form confirming that mediation cannot proceed.
This allows you to show the court that you attempted to consider mediation before making an application.
What Is the Role of the Family Mediator?
The mediator is neutral. They do not take sides, make decisions or tell either person what to do.
Their role is to help both people communicate more constructively, identify the issues, explore options and work towards practical agreements.
In mediation, you can discuss issues such as:
- child arrangements
- parenting plans
- school holidays
- handovers
- communication between parents
- finances
- property
- pensions
- debts
- future arrangements after separation
If proposals are reached, the mediator can record them in writing. If the parties want the agreement to become legally binding, the mediator can explain the next steps, such as taking legal advice or applying for a court order by consent.
Is Family Mediation the Same as Relationship Counselling?
No. Family mediation is not relationship counselling.
Mediation is not about deciding whether the relationship should continue. It is about helping separated or separating people resolve practical issues and make arrangements for the future.
The focus is on reaching workable outcomes, reducing conflict and helping both people move forward.
Is Mediation Better Than Going to Court?
Mediation is often quicker, less expensive and less stressful than court proceedings. It also gives both people more control over the outcome.
Court may still be necessary in some cases, especially where there are safety concerns, urgency, refusal to engage, non-disclosure or serious disagreement that cannot be resolved. However, for many families, mediation can provide a more constructive route.
It gives both people the opportunity to speak, be heard and consider solutions in a safe and structured environment.
How Lakes Mediation Can Help
At Lakes Mediation, we provide MIAMs and family mediation for separating couples and parents.
We can help with:
- MIAM appointments
- child arrangements
- parenting plans
- divorce and separation issues
- financial arrangements
- property discussions
- pension discussions
- shuttle mediation
- online mediation
Our mediators will explain the process clearly, assess whether mediation is suitable and help you understand your options.
Contact Lakes Mediation Today
If you need to attend a MIAM or want to find out whether family mediation could help, Lakes Mediation can support you.
Contact Lakes Mediation today to arrange a MIAM and take the next step towards resolving your family dispute












