Family mediation is a structured process where separated couples or parents meet with an impartial mediator to discuss the issues that need to be resolved after separation.
Mediation is not relationship counselling and it is not designed to bring you back together. Instead, it helps you make practical arrangements for the future, including child arrangements, finances, property and communication.
At Lakes Mediation, our experienced family mediators help separating couples and parents have calm, focused discussions so they can work towards agreements without unnecessary conflict.
What Can Be Discussed in Mediation?
Family mediation can help with a range of issues following separation or divorce, including:
- where children will live
- when children will spend time with each parent
- school holidays and special occasions
- handover arrangements
- communication between parents
- the family home
- mortgages and rent
- savings and debts
- pensions
- income and maintenance
- future financial arrangements
The mediator does not take sides, give legal advice or make decisions for you. Their role is to help both people communicate, identify the issues and explore practical options.
Is Mediation the Same as Divorce?
No. If you are married, you will still need to deal with the divorce process separately. However, mediation can help you resolve the arrangements that often sit alongside divorce, such as finances, property and children.
If you are able to reach agreement through mediation, this can make the wider divorce process more straightforward, less stressful and often more affordable.
How Many Mediation Sessions Are Needed?
The number of mediation sessions depends on the issues involved and how much agreement already exists.
Some couples may only need one or two sessions. More complex cases, especially those involving finances, pensions, property or detailed child arrangements, may need several sessions.
Sessions often last between one and two hours, depending on the mediator and the nature of the discussion.
What Happens at the First Meeting?
The process usually begins with a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, known as a MIAM.
This is an individual meeting with the mediator. It allows you to explain your situation, discuss the issues you want to resolve and understand whether mediation is suitable.
If both people agree to proceed, joint mediation sessions can then be arranged. These may take place in the same room, online, or through shuttle mediation where each person is in a separate room or virtual space.
What Happens During Mediation Sessions?
During mediation, the mediator helps both people discuss the issues in a structured way. Ground rules are usually agreed so that each person has the chance to speak and be heard.
The aim is to keep discussions calm, respectful and focused on practical solutions.
If direct discussion feels too difficult, shuttle mediation may be used. This allows each person to remain separate while the mediator moves between them, helping to share proposals and responses.
Child Arrangements in Mediation
Where children are involved, mediation focuses on their welfare and day-to-day needs.
Parents can discuss:
- living arrangements
- time with each parent
- school routines
- holidays
- birthdays and special occasions
- handovers
- communication between homes
- how future changes will be managed
The aim is to create arrangements that are realistic, child-focused and workable for the whole family.
Where children are older, there may be circumstances where their views can be considered appropriately. This must be handled carefully and should never place children under pressure or ask them to choose between parents.
Financial Issues in Mediation
Mediation can also help separating couples discuss financial matters, including the family home, debts, mortgages, savings, pensions and ongoing financial responsibilities.
If financial arrangements are being discussed, both people will usually need to provide financial disclosure. This helps create a clear picture of the assets, debts, income and future needs involved.
The mediator cannot give financial advice, but they can help structure the conversation and identify where legal, financial or pension advice may be needed.
What Happens If You Reach Agreement?
If agreement is reached, the mediator can record it in writing.
For child arrangements, this may be set out in a Parenting Plan. For financial matters, the proposals may be recorded in a Memorandum of Understanding, often alongside an Open Financial Statement.
These documents are not usually legally binding on their own. If you want an agreement to become legally binding, you may need to take legal advice and ask the court to approve a consent order.
What If You Only Agree on Some Issues?
Mediation can still be useful even if you do not resolve everything.
If you agree on some matters but not others, the mediator can record the points agreed. This may reduce the number of issues that need to be dealt with by solicitors or the court.
Even partial agreement can save time, reduce costs and make future discussions more focused.
How Lakes Mediation Can Help
At Lakes Mediation, we help separated couples and parents resolve family issues in a calm, impartial and constructive way.
We can help with:
- MIAMs
- child arrangements
- parenting plans
- financial mediation
- property discussions
- pension discussions
- shuttle mediation
- online mediation
Our aim is to help both people reach practical agreements and move forward with greater clarity.
Contact Lakes Mediation Today
If you are separating or divorcing and need help resolving child or financial arrangements, Lakes Mediation can help.
Contact Lakes Mediation today or call 01539 644 002 to find out how family mediation can support you.